apa nama awak?

“nama apa?” persoalan yang common di awal perkenalan. Maklumlah, first time tengok muka, kan?

Kemudian, oleh sebab lama tak jumpa, nama dia pun kita lupa.

Hurm, ramai orang menyalahkan akalnya. Alasannya, ingatan aku tak kuat, sebab tu aku susah nak ingat nama orang. Walhal, kalau dia tau kepentingannya, pasti dia akan cuba dengan apa cara sekalipun untuk mengingati nama orang yang baru dikenali.

Ingat nama seseorang sangat penting, apatah lagi jika anda seorang pendakwah? Ingat nama orang sangat penting dalam memikat hati para pendakwah.

Apabila kita berjumpa seseorang, kita pasakkan semua fakta tentang dirinya, tentang keluarga, kehidupan sekarang, minatnya dan sebagainya dalam minda kita sebagai gambar! inilah kesungguhan seorang ahli politik barat untuk meraih undi, Rooselvets.

Benton Love, chairman of Texas Commerce Banc-shares, believes that the bigger a corporation gets, the colder it becomes. " One way to warm it up," he said, "is to remember people's names. The executive who tells me he can't remember names is at the same time telling me he can't remember a significant part of his business and is operating on quicksand."

Manusia sangat bangga apabila namanya disebut, bahkan mereka sanggup berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk mengabadikan nama mereka dengan apa cara sekalipun.

One of the first lessons a politician learns is this: "To recall a voter's name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion."

Kebolehan untuk mengingati nama orang lain sangat penting dalam perniagaan dan orang yang selalu berhubungan dengan manusia, seperti ahli politik. Bukankah pendakwah itu lebih luas daripada ahli politik?

Lihatlah kesungguhan Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France dalam menghafal nama orang,

His technique? Simple. If he didn't hear the name distinctly, he said, "So sorry. I didn't get the name clearly." Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, "How is it spelled?" During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person's features, expression and general appearance. If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.

Semua ini memakan masa, namun kata Emerson,"Good manners,are made up of petty sacrifices."

CONTOH CERITA

Edward Carnigie wanted to sell steel rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad. J. Edgar Thomson was the president of the Pennsylvania Railroad then. So Andrew Carnegie built a huge steel mill in Pittsburgh and called it the "Edgar Thomson Steel Works."

Here is a riddle. See if you can guess it. When the Pennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails, where do you suppose J. Edgar Thomson bought them?. . , From Sears, Roebuck? No. No. You're wrong.

KESIMPULAN

Sepatutnya, kita menyedari magic yang terkandung dalam nama, yang empunya nama itu sahaja yang menyedarinya, bukan orang lain. Nama itu menyebabkan dia merasakan dirinya adalah satu-satunya, unik daripada orang lain, sangat-sangat unik!

We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.

PRINSIPNYA IALAH: Ingat nama orang kerana pada orang itu, itulah perkara yang paling indah dan paling penting.

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Orang lumpuh pun gembira

Orang menganggap dengan memakai pakaian yang cantik dan mahal, orang akan suka berkawan dengannya. Mereka lupa bahawa ‘pakaian’ yang ditayangkan pada muka adalah jauh lebih penting berbanding pakaian yang dipakai oleh tubuh mereka.

Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you."

Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. "People who smile," he said, "tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There's far more information in a smile than a frown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment."

You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.

Jika kamu tiada perasaan untuk senyum, paksa diri untuk senyum. Cuba menyanyi mana-mana lagu dan berperangai seperti dalam keadaan gembira dan hal itu akan membuatkan kamu betul-betul gembira.

Every body in the world is seeking happiness - and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it!

An insincere grin? No. That doesn't fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.

Ancient Chinese says : "A man without a smiling face must not open a shop."

Abe Lincoln once remarked that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Elbert Hubbad says:

Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual.. . . Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude - the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere praye is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

NILAI SENYUMAN

It costs nothing, but creates much.

It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.

It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.

It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature's best antidote fee trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away.

Baginda SAW sendiri menggalakkan kita untuk senyum dan bermanis muka kepada orang lain.

“janganlah kamu memandang remeh sesuatu kebaikan,biarpun bermuka manis di hadapan saudaramu.” (mafhum Hadis)

CONTOH

As I was walking up the stairs of the Long Island Railroad station in New York. Directly in front of me thirty or forty crippled boys on canes and crutches were struggling up the stairs. One boy had to be carried up. I was astonished at their laughter and gaiety. I spoke about it to one of.the men in charge of the boys. "Oh, yes," he said, "when a boy realizes that he is going to be a cripple for life, he is shocked at first; but after he gets over the shock, he usually resigns himself to his fate and then becomes as happy as normal boys."

I felt like taking my hat off to those boys. They taught me a lesson I hope I shall never forget.

Prinsipnya ialah: SENYUM! Smile, be happy!

Becoming genuinely interested in other people

Pernah tengok kucing peliharaan? Kucing tu tak perlu kerja kuat pun untuk cari makan. Kucing tak belajar pun untuk tarik perhatian orang, buatkan orang senang dengannya.

You knew by some divine instinct that you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Hakikatnya, manusia tidak tertarik dengan diri orang lain, tidak tertarik dengan kamu, tidak tertarik dengan saya. Mereka hanya tertarik dengan diri mereka. Bahkan satu kajian yang dibuat, perkataan “I(saya)” digunakan sebanyak 3900 kali dalam 500 perbualan telefon. See!!

KAEDAH

Jika kita hanya cuba untuk membuatkan manusia suka pada kita, mungkin kita akan dapat kawan, tapi bukan kawan yang benar-benar baik.

Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring."

Seseorang boleh memenangi perhatian, masa dan kerjasama walaupun daripada orang yang paling terkenal pun dengan cara genuinely interested in them (benar-benar tertarik dengan mereka).

Jika kamu mahu mendapat kawan, tegurlah mereka dengan penuh minat. Let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. Apabila seseorang menelefon kamu, sebutlah salam, jawablah panggilannya dengan nada yang menunjukkan kamu betul-betul gembira dapat berbual dengannya. Kamu bukan sahaja dapt ramai kawan, bahkan dapat lebih ramai mad’u.

Publilius Syrus, remarked; "We are interested in others when they are interested in us."

CONTOH CERITA

I spent an evening in the dressing room of Howard Thurston the last time he appeared on Broadway -Thurston was the acknowledged dean of magicians. For forty years he had traveled all over the world, time and again, creating illusions, mystifying audiences, and making people gasp with astonishment. More than 60 million people had paid admission to his show, and he had made almost $2 million in profit. I asked Mr. Thurston to tell me the secret of his success. His schooling certainly had nothing to do with it, for he ran away from home as a small boy, became a hobo, rode in boxcars, slept in haystacks, begged his food from door to door, and learned to read by looking out of boxcars at signs along the railway. Did he have a superior knowledge of magic? No, he told me hundreds of books had been written about legerdemain and scores of people knew as much about it as he did. But he had two things that the others didn't have. First, he had the ability to put his personality across the footlights. He was a master showman. He knew human nature. Everything he did, every gesture, every intonation of his voice, every lifting of an eyebrow had been carefully rehearsed in advance, and his actions were timed to split seconds. But, in addition to that, Thurston had a genuine interest in people. He told me that many magicians would look at the audience and say to themselves, "Well, there is a bunch of suckers out there, a bunch of hicks; I'll fool them all right." But Thurston's method was totally different. He told me that every time he went on stage he said to himself: "I am grateful because these people come to see me, They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I'm going to give them the very best I possibly can." He declared he never stepped in front of the footlights without first saying to himself over and over: "I love my audience. I love my audience." Ridiculous? Absurd? You are privileged to think anything you like. I am merely passing it on to you without comment as a recipe used by one of the most famous magicians of all time.

KESIMPULAN

Jika kamu hendak orang lain sukakan kamu, jika kamu benar-benar mahu bina persahabatan yang sebenar, jika kamu mahu menolong orang lain dan pada masa yang sama menolong diri kamu sendiri, simpanlah prinsip ini dalam kepala kamu

‘Jadilah orang yang betul-betul tertarik dengan orang lain dengan ikhlas. Become genuinely interested in other people.

minat kita atau minat dia

“aik? Pelik betul! Aku ajak dia main bowling dengan aku, dia tak nak main. Tapi, dengan orang lain dia main pulak,” Ramli hairan. Di manakah silapnya?

Kenapa manusia selalu bercakap tentang apa yang dia nak? Betul, kamu tertarik dengan apa yang kamu minat. Tapi, itu kamu, bukan orang lain! Orang lain pun macam kamu, mereka hanya tertarik dengan apa yang mereka minat, bukan dengan apa yang kamu minat!

IKAN DAN CACING

Hurm, cuba tanya kepada pengail ikan. Apa yang dibuat supaya dapat pancing banyak ikan? Yup, dia nak ikan. Ikan tu apa yang dia nak! Dia tahu yang ikan minat makan cacing. Jadi, dia dapatkan cacing yang segar-segar untuk dibuat umpan. Dia tunaikan minat ikan untuk dapatkan ikan.

Jadi, kenapa tak kita gunakan teknik yang sama untuk orang lain? Terutamanya, para pendakwah untuk memancing hati mad’u.

Hanya satu cara atas muka bumi ini untuk pengaruhi manusia lain, iaitu dengan bercakap tentang apa yang mereka inginkan dan tunjukkan kepada mereka cara untuk mendapatkannya. Melihat dari pandangan orang lain dan meningkatkan keinginan mereka kepada sesuatu bukan bermaksud memanupulasi seseorang untuk melakukan perkara yang menguntungkan kita dan memberikan kesan buruk kepada orang itu.

Harry A, Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behavior said; "Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire ... and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in

politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way."

Esok, kamu ingin pujuk orang untuk buat sesuatu. Sebelum kamu bercakap, pause sekejap dan tanyalah kepada diri kamu, “BAGAIMANA saya ingin membuatkan orang ini ingin melakukan apa yang saya inginkan?”

LETAK DIRI DALAM KASUT ORANG LAIN

"If there is any one secret of success," said Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."

Siapa kisah dengan minat kau? Siapa kisah dengan masalah kau? Aku lebih risau dengan masalah aku! Kenapa nak minta aku buat itu dan ini? Kau pulak langsung tak gunakan perkataan tolong. Huh, kalau ada perkataan tolong pun, nada suara kau tu nada mengarah!

Kau syok cerita tentang kehebatan kau. Aku lebih kisah dengan diri aku, bukan diri kau! Cerita kau memang buatkan aku rasa kecil dan tidak penting!

Tunjukkan model matlamat yang ingin dicapai dapat meningkatkan minat mereka. Memahami untuk menyelesaikan masalah mereka juga membantu.

CONTOH

Dear Mr. Vermylen:

Your company has been one of our good customers for fourteen years. Naturally, we are very grateful for your patronage and are eager to give you the speedy, efficient service you deserve.

However, we regret to say that it isn't possible for us to do that when your trucks bring us a large shipment late in the afternoon, as they did on November 10. Why? Because many other customers make late afternoon deliveries also. Naturally, that causes

congestion. That means your trucks are held up unavoidably at the pier and sometimes even your freight is delayed.

That's bad, but it can be avoided. If you make your deliveries at the pier in the morning when possible, your trucks will be able to keep moving, your freight will get immediate attention, and our workers will get home early at night to enjoy a dinner of the delicious macaroni and noodles that you manufacture.Regardless of when your shipments arrive, we shall always cheerfully do all in our power to serve you promptly.

You are busy. Please don't trouble to answer this note.

Yours truly,

J----- B-----, supt.

FAEDAH

Dunia ini penuh dengan orang yang mementingkan kepuasan diri sendiri. Jadi, orang yang tidak mementingkan diri sendiri dan suka berkhidmat untuk orang lain mempunyai kelebihan yang besar.

Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer and one of America's great business leaders, once said: "People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them."

KESIMPULAN

Charles Schwab's injunction: "hearty in his approbation and lavish in his praise."

William Winter once remarked that "self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature."

Lumrahnya, manusia suka feel of importance. Mereka seronok jika kewujudan mereka dihargai dan perlu.

When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.

Remember: "First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way."

Prinsipnya ialah: Tingkatkan perasaan mahu dalam diri orang lain. AROUSE IN THE OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT.